(no subject)
Mar. 12th, 2007 09:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
woodfaceI know that I'm not a bad person, I'm not the best either. I'm lazy and sometimes I don't care enough about people beside me.
I'm not the best friend. I'm loyal to a fault. I get wrapped up in my friends. I want to give them everything, I want to make them happy. Sometimes at the cost of myself so I don't say when I get hurt because I'm scared of losing them. I'm trying to get better at that, I'm trying to not let myself get hurt so much that I can't repair a relationship. I'm still learning however and I make mistakes. A lot of them, not all as bad as others.
I'm an easygoing classmate. I don't complain a lot. I don't make a whole lot of noise or tell stupid jokes. I'm helpful when I can be. I don't always like everyone, but I don't cause trouble because of it.
I'm an okay admin. I think so anyway. I like making things run smoothly and look at the game and know that I helped make things work. Other times, I get too stressed out. I want to please too many people so I get worked up when I can't make everyone happy, but I think that I make decisions because they're the right ones to make.
I have good intentions. They don't always work out so great. They screw me over or they end up hurting someone when I don't want them to. All I can do is keep trying until I do get it right. Sometimes, it doesn't feel like it's enough. Sometimes, it doesn't feel like they matter because they'll never be taken as such.
All in all, I'm human. A messed up version at that. I suck at expressing my feelings. I suck at acknowledging that I have them, I prefer to take them away. I'm hard on myself. Too much so, but then I remember the times that I wasn't. Times that I let myself get away with things that I don't like and I get a little bit harder.
I'm not the best friend. I'm loyal to a fault. I get wrapped up in my friends. I want to give them everything, I want to make them happy. Sometimes at the cost of myself so I don't say when I get hurt because I'm scared of losing them. I'm trying to get better at that, I'm trying to not let myself get hurt so much that I can't repair a relationship. I'm still learning however and I make mistakes. A lot of them, not all as bad as others.
I'm an easygoing classmate. I don't complain a lot. I don't make a whole lot of noise or tell stupid jokes. I'm helpful when I can be. I don't always like everyone, but I don't cause trouble because of it.
I'm an okay admin. I think so anyway. I like making things run smoothly and look at the game and know that I helped make things work. Other times, I get too stressed out. I want to please too many people so I get worked up when I can't make everyone happy, but I think that I make decisions because they're the right ones to make.
I have good intentions. They don't always work out so great. They screw me over or they end up hurting someone when I don't want them to. All I can do is keep trying until I do get it right. Sometimes, it doesn't feel like it's enough. Sometimes, it doesn't feel like they matter because they'll never be taken as such.
All in all, I'm human. A messed up version at that. I suck at expressing my feelings. I suck at acknowledging that I have them, I prefer to take them away. I'm hard on myself. Too much so, but then I remember the times that I wasn't. Times that I let myself get away with things that I don't like and I get a little bit harder.
