AU fic: Part 1
Dec. 22nd, 2003 03:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
woodfaceDisclaimer: Not mine
Classification: Angst, AU, I'm not sure about the rest yet
Rating: PG
Spoilers/Set: During season 1, so expect to be spoiled for episodes up to First Commandement
Pairings: Sam/Jonas Hanson, Sam/Jack (UST, perhaps Romance not sure yet, I have to ask you to trust me on this)
Summary: What would have happened if Sam got married to Jonas Hanson.
A/N: Like I did with Reprieve I will be posting the parts as I go along here on my LJ. Only when the fic is complete will I post it on my website and on lists. You guys were all so supportive during Reprieve that I'm hoping it will encourage my muse this time around as well. Thank you all!
Ow yeah and before we begin. I just need to cover my ass about a statement made somewhere in this part:
This fic was approved and authorised by our American consultant![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
splash_the_cat.
Thanks tochiroho for taking a moment in his busy shedule to beta this. And to splash_the_cat who survived illness and christmas trees.
PART 1
TWO MONTHS BEFORE THE ABYDOS MISSION
WASHINGTON, D.C.
Samantha Carter liked the office best at this time of the night. The only sound came from her computer, and occasionally she would hear the night guard pass down the hall. His name was Ronald, 42 years old, happily married with two kids in their mid-teens. Perhaps it was pathetic that they were on a first name basis, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. The small apartment she and her husband shared was not exactly her favourite place on the earth. The walls were too thin for comfort, and did nothing to muffle the noise from their next door neighbours, a young couple as passionate in their fighting as they were in their love making. So when Jonas was overseas on a mission, more often than not Sam found herself heading to her lab when things got too loud, even for her.
She sighed and sat back in her chair, taking a break from the keyboard and kneading the sore muscles in her neck. Tonight she wasn’t in her lab to escape her noisy neighbours. After five weeks Jonas had finally come home, but the reunion hadn’t been as easy as she’d expected. Sure, she had flung herself at him the minute she’d seen him at the airport. Five long weeks without sex always made her that much more eager, and as they had stumbled inside their apartment, they’d ended up making love against the door. She was pretty sure the neighbours had received a taste of their own medicine.
It was only afterwards that she’d noticed something was wrong. Instead of coming to bed, Jonas had gone out onto the balcony and just stood there. Her attempts to draw him back inside, or offer him something to eat, were met with a growl that she knew meant he wanted to be alone. Not wanting to hang around him when he was in one of his moods, she’d picked up her coat and decided she’d rather spent the night working.
“Samantha?” Sam was startled out of her thoughts. She hadn’t even heard the approaching footsteps.
“Hi, Catherine.” Sam smiled at the older woman as she entered the lab.
“What are you still doing here?” Catherine asked as she pulled up a chair and sat down opposite Sam.
“Shouldn’t I be asking you the same thing?” Sam raised her eyebrows.
“You know me. Couldn’t stop thinking.” Catherine brushed it off. “Didn’t you say that Jonas was coming back today?”
Sam couldn’t help herself, and winced at the mention of her husband. Catherine didn’t miss her hesitation, or her expression. “What’s wrong, Samantha?”
“It’s nothing. Just a bad mission I guess. He needed some space, so I thought I might as well do some work.” Sam sighed.
Catherine frowned and sat back in the chair, studying Sam. “We’re missing something,” she said suddenly.
Sam looked up, confused. “Missing what?”
“I don’t know.” Catherine shrugged. “You said you doubted the ring was made on earth...”
“Hang on! I didn’t say that!” Sam protested. “I said that I’ve never seen the alloy the ring is made from on earth before.”
Catherine grinned. “Okay, but what if it wasn’t made by us?” When Sam didn’t answer, she continued. “There is this archaeologist, Doctor Jackson, who has an unusual theory about the pyramids...”
“Catherine, there have been a lot of people with unusual theories about the pyramids.” Sam objected.
“I know. I know. I’m just saying he’s different. He has a very good reputation for his work and his recent findings caught my attention. He wrote a paper in which he attempted to prove that the pyramids are actually some sort of landing site for alien vessels.”
“Catherine!” Sam protested.
“I know what it sounds like, Samantha. But, it’s just...” She sighed. “Let’s call it a hunch. I think he might be able to help us.”
Sam shook her head at Catherine's enthusiasm. “You don’t really care what I’m going to say, do you?”
“Nope,” Catherine grinned.
Sam sighed. “When are you going to meet him?”
“He’s speaking at a lecture in a couple of weeks.” Catherine was smirking now.
“And what do you want me to do?” Sam asked
“You?” Catherine stood up. “Go home, Samantha. I know you’ve been missing Jonas.”
Sam shrugged. “I’m used to the separation. It’s always been like this - our jobs take up a lot of our time.”
“All the more reason to spend the time you do have, together.” Catherine pointed out.
“Yeah, I know. I just don’t want to get into an argument with him when he’s like this.” Sam sighed.
“He’s as pigheaded as you are?” Catherine joked lightly.
Sam laughed. “You could say that.”
Smiling, Catherine reached out and squeezed her hand. “Go home, Samantha. Life tends to give you too little time with the ones you love.”
Sam looked up to find sorrow in Catherine’s eyes. “I know.”
“’Night.” With that Catherine left the lab.
“’Night,” Sam sighed and stared at the computer screen. Perhaps she really should head home and see how Jonas was doing. Making up her mind, she shut down the computer, reached for her coat and headed home.
*****
The apartment was completely dark when Sam entered. She put her keys on the table and hung up her coat.
“Jonas?” She called softly. When she didn’t get a response, she headed to the bedroom only to find the bed unused. Frowning she headed back into the living room and started when she found him sitting in the armchair.
“Jonas? You okay?” She asked, slowly approaching him.
He was sitting with his elbows on his knees, rolling something between his fingers. When it glittered in the light falling through the window, Sam realised he was holding a coin.
“They should put that on the guns.” His voice was rougher than she remembered.
“Put what on the gun?s”
Jonas threw her the coin and she just managed to catch it.
“In God we trust.” Jonas snorted.
Sam looked down at the silvery coin and read the motto. She was so used to seeing it that she hadn’t really thought about it. “Why?”
“Why?” Jonas leaned back, his eyes glittering in the dark. “Did you know they put that on there during the Cold War? You couldn’t possibly be a commie if you believed in God. And money, well what isn’t more capitalist, right?”
Sam frowned and tossed the coin back. “What are you getting at?”
“A couple of nights ago there was an attack on the base. I have no idea how many managed to sneak in, but they made a mistake, and soon the whole camp was awake. We cornered them; they had no way of getting out. One of the senior officers tried talking them into surrendering, but they wouldn’t give up. They just kept shooting, trying to get as many of us as they could. Then there was a pause in the fighting and we realised there’s just one left alive. You could see him realise it too. But do you think he gave up? No, he took out his grenade and ran, shouting that ‘Allah is great’ shit. Can you see any of our guys doing that?” He didn’t pause for her answer. “Of course not! We don’t fight for our God. We fight for some suit behind a desk. Put that quote on our weapons, and then see how far we’ll get.”
Sam frowned, uncomfortable with what Jonas was saying. “You can’t possibly mean that.”
“Why not?” Jonas shrugged. “They’re doing it. Maybe the president should just call them all heathens and start a crusade. If they can, why can’t we?”
“I’m not sure I want to believe in a God that allows people to sacrifice their lives like that.” Sam shook her head. “I’m going to bed.” She announced, deciding she didn’t want to hear any more of this conversation. He was just being difficult because something was bugging him. “You can either join me, or stay out here.”
“Where were you anyway?” Jonas asked suddenly.
“Work. I forgot I had to do something in the lab.”
“Oh.” Jonas looked at her thoughtfully, clearly not buying her excuse.
“’Night, Jonas.” Sam said before turning and heading to the bathroom.
When she got into bed a short time later, Jonas was there waiting for her. He smiled when she entered the room, and drew back the sheets.
“Hey, babe. I missed you.” He said playfully.
Sam couldn’t help it, and returned the smile, glad his bad mood had abated. “Hey,” she grinned, and slipped under the covers. Jonas wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled up against him.
Catherine was right, she had missed him. “I’m glad you’re home.” She whispered.
“Me too, Sam. Me too.” Jonas replied, and kissed her forehead gently.
*****
MORNING OF THE ABYDOS MISSION
Sam pushed the papers into her briefcase, while at the same time trying to drink her too hot coffee. She couldn’t believe she had overslept. She never overslept. Still, she couldn’t remember even hearing the alarm clock, so now she was running late.
She burnt her tongue, but ignored it as she slammed the cup down on the table and reached for her shoes. She tried to balance herself on one foot while putting the high heels on the other. She hated her dress uniform. The skirt wasn’t designed for any sort of action whatsoever. Smoothing the skirt back down after putting on her shoes, she reached for her briefcase, and was about to head out of the door when the phone rang.
Talk about bad timing.
She snatched the receiver from it’s cradle. “Carter-Hanson.”
“Samantha?” The familiar voice on the other end asked.
Sam let her annoyance slip. “Hi, Catherine.”
“I’m sorry, did I catch you at a bad time?”
“Kind of. I was just about to head to the Pentagon.” Sam explained as she put her briefcase on the floor next to the closet.
“Seems I saved you the trip then.” Catherine informed her cheerily.
“Is there something I should know?”
“You could say that. I can’t tell you too much as this isn’t a secure line, but you’re gonna love this. We found out how to work the Stargate.”
“Stargate?” Sam interrupted.
“That’s what it’s called according to Doctor Jackson.” Catherine answered quickly, seeming impatient to tell Sam more.
“So he agreed to help out! That’s good.”
“Yes, but Samantha; you’re not going to believe this. The Stargate it...” Catherine groaned. “It works, we sent a probe through. I’ll explain it all to you when you get here.”
“Where’s here exactly?” Sam asked confusedly. Even though she didn’t know what Catherine was so excited about, she could feel the tension in the pit of her stomach increase. This sounded like something big.
“Colorado Springs. Samantha, I’ve arranged a flight for you early this afternoon. We’ll need your expertise here. You’re going to love this.” Sam grinned as she imagined the old lady bouncing up and down with joy.
“Hang on. How long do you want me to stay out there?” If this was as big as Catherine was hinting, she doubted she was going to be back in D.C any time soon.
“If this is what I think it is, you’ll never want to leave again. The Air Force will organise your replacement. They’ll make sure your stuff gets transferred to Colorado, and they’ll arrange housing as well. You don’t have to worry about a thing.”
“Catherine, I am married, you know. Jonas does have a say in this.” Sam protested, not sure she could just decide on this without his consent.
“Trust me, Samantha. You do not want to miss this. Jonas will understand. I need you here A.S.A.P. So pack your bags, and get yourself on that plane!” Catherine ordered.
Sam laughed. “Alright. I’ll go and pack now.”
“And one last thing. Before you get here, I need you to do something for me.”
Sam shook her head. “And what would that be?”
“The Air Force is insisting some Colonel lead the mission. The weird thing is, it seems they’re pulling him out of retirement. Could you run a check on him? See what his history is?”
Sam sighed heavily, knowing Catherine wasn’t allowed to ask her to run a background on an Air Force officer. “Okay I’ll do it, but you owe me big time. What’s his name and rank?”
She could imagine Catherine grinning. “Colonel Jack O’Neill. That’s two l’s. Thank you, Samantha. I'll see you later."
Laughing, Sam agreed. “See you later, Catherine.”
With that she hung up, and decided to pack her bags first. Then she’d head over to the Pentagon and check that Colonel out, before going to the airport.
*****
Catherine owed her big time. She’d had to pull quite a few strings to get hold of Jack O’Neill’s records. Her general search on the database hadn’t given her much - most of his missions and past were classified.
She browsed through the file. One black ops mission after another, and some of them not pretty at all. This man clearly knew what classified meant; the Air Force’s choice to have him lead the mission clearly made sense.
She stopped on a page as her eyes caught the phrase “Missing In Action”. A black ops mission gone wrong while parachuting over enemy territory. The document was drawn up the same day he’d gone down. Sam knew what that meant - no rescue. His superiors had no scruples about leaving him behind, as Major O’Neill had been aware of the risks that went along with that particular mission.
Sam swallowed, trying to image what it’d be like to go down and know that no one would come after you. Drawing a deep breath she turned the page and couldn’t help but feel relieved when the next document announced that Jack O’Neill had been found. Of course he must have been as she knew he was alive now, but still she couldn’t help it.
They hadn’t gone back to retrieve him. Instead, he had come limping out of the desert with a skull fracture, and broken ribs and leg.
Sam grinned. “Too stubborn to die, huh?” Shaking her head, she read on. His missions didn’t get any easier.
She swallowed as she came to a document very much like the other one, again stating Jack O’Neill had gone missing in action deep in Iraq. The statement of his CO, Colonel Cromwell, explained they were overpowered. O’Neill had gone down a hundred meters from the rescue chopper. He had been conscious, but Cromwell wasn’t able to get back to him as they’d been cut off by Iraqi forces.
“Oh, God.” Sam whispered, turning the page with shaking hands. The next document was three months later. The Iraqi government had contacted the US, demanding the exchange of some of their men in return for American POW’s. A list of twenty prisoners had been released. O’Neill was on it.
Apparently it took them another three weeks to arrange the exchange. O’Neill had been recovered, but the psych board’s evaluation was anything but positive. This was a man who had looked death in the eyes. He’d held out for four months in an Iraqi prison. There weren’t any files on what they did to him, but Sam had heard the stories all before.
Half a year later, the Air Force allowed O’Neill to return to active duty, against the advisement of the psychiatrist. Sam’s frown deepened as she scanned through the missions he was sent on afterwards. Each one more dangerous. This was a man flirting with death - exactly what the military could use. Until it all stopped when Jack O’Neill handed in his letter of resignation, asking for a voluntary retirement. It seemed abrupt - the high follow up of missions suddenly coming to a stop with a decision that did not seem to fit the rest of the man’s profile. It was as if some disaster had struck him, and finally made him cave.
The last document was recent, added only days ago. Again, it was a psych evaluation stating the Colonel was suicidal, but giving no further explanation. It seemed strange. Why would the Air Force chose a suicidal officer to lead a mission that could very well change the entire future of the human race? She had her suspicions.
Sam didn’t get any more time to think about it as her phone rang. She closed the file as she picked up the telephone.
“Captain Carter speaking,” she answered as she absentmindedly opened the file again on the first page. The black and white photo caught her attention.
“Ms Carter-Hanson?” A young voice inquired.
“That’s me,” her finger moved over his cheek. She could only image what those dark eyes had seen. The reports only gave the facts.
“I’m afraid I have some bad new, Ma’am.”
Her head snapped up, fingers still on the paper. “What? What’s wrong?”
“I’m afraid your husband has been injured in the line of duty, Ma’am...”
“Injured? What happened? Will he be alright?” Sam panicked.
“It was touch and go for a while, but he is stable at the moment, and has been moved to a military hospital in Naples, Italy.” He ignored her first question, but then she didn’t really expect him to answer that. She never got an explanation.
She slowly expelled the breath she had been holding, and stared down at the table, a face so unlike Jonas looking back at her. “So he’s alright now?” She needed to hear the reassurance.
“Yes, Ma’am.”
Tiredly Sam rubbed her forehead. “Am I allowed to see him?
“That is part of the reason I am calling, Ma’am. There is a military transport leaving for Naples within the hour. If you want, a seat will be saved for you.”
“Yes! I’ll be there.” Sam replied without thinking, and jotted down the instructions on a post-it note.
As she hung up, Sam sat back in her chair, staring out in front of her. Just minutes ago she had felt excited about the Stargate – she still had to get used to that name – working and now... It wasn’t the first time Jonas had been injured, just not so bad that the Air Force actually offered to get her to Italy to see him.
She had to remind herself that he was stable as she reached for the telephone again to call Catherine. Four operators later, Sam was nearing desperation when the familiar voice finally answered her.
“Catherine! Thank you! Listen, I don’t have much time.” She immediately started rambling. “Jonas’ has been injured. I have to go to Naples. He’s stable for now, but I have to see him.”
It took a moment for Catherine to take in the news. “Oh God, Samantha. I’m so sorry. What happened?”
Sam snorted. “I doubt I’ll ever know. Jonas’s in black ops, so it’s all need to know.” She sighed.
“Are you alright?” Catherine asked.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Sam clenched her hand, preventing it from trembling any further. “At least I will be when I see he’s alright.”
“He will be,” Sam wished she could be as sure of that as Catherine sounded. “Give me a call when you know more?”
“I will. Thanks, Catherine. I've got to go, I have a plane to catch and it wasn’t easy getting through to you.”
“Security is a bit high here,” Catherine tried to joke.
“Yeah, I bet it is.” Sam bit her lip, and her eyes drifted back to the picture. “Oh, by the way, I looked into that Colonel O’Neill for you. Most of the missions he was on are classified. He has seen a lot of action. Just, be careful with him. According to his last psych evaluation he’s suicidal. It’s strange, because the evaluation was done very shortly after his retirement.”
“That’s odd.”
Sam shook her head. She didn’t want to think about Jack O’Neill right now. “Catherine, I’ve got to go.”
“Yes, of course. Take care, Samantha. I’ll be praying for you both.”
Sam wasn’t sure how much good that would do, but said nothing. She just thanked Catherine and hung up. Looking one last time at the picture, she closed the file before closing down her office and heading to the airport.
*****
Sam stood uncertainly inside the infirmary, watching the pale man on the bed. Wires and tubes were attached to his body, a soft beeping indicating the steady beat of her husband’s heart. The doctor’s words still echoed inside her mind, a long list of injuries. Yet all she could clearly remember was that he was going to be alright. It would take a while before he would heal completely, but he would be alright.
Tiredly, Sam took a step closer to his bed, unsure how to act. The flight here had exhausted her, her mind constantly racing with worst case scenarios. What if she arrived too late?
Forcing herself to move, she walked up to his bed and took his cold hand into hers. At least he didn’t need help breathing anymore.
“You scared me, Jonas.” She whispered, fighting back the tears. How many close calls had she been through with him? Too many, that was for sure.
Taking a shuddering breath, she released his hand and pulled a chair closer. Her body ached as she sat down - military planes weren’t exactly as comfortable as commercial flights.
Leaning forward, she placed a gentle hand on his arm. “I’m never gonna find out what happened to you, am I?” She asked, needing to fill the room with some sound other than the electronic beeps. She knew what ‘classified’ meant. Heck, half of the time neither of them could tell the other what they had been doing. It wasn’t that she didn’t understand, but sometimes she wondered what they made him do.
Her mind drifted back to the records she had read earlier today. Was it only today? It seemed ages ago. She wondered if Jonas saw half as much as Colonel O’Neill had, if he would be as lucky as him and escape death as many times. But was it really lucky? The man had been a POW. Sam felt sick as she imagined Jonas in his shoes. Would he come out suicidal as well?
Her thoughts were interrupted as Jonas moved. She held her breath as she watched his eyes move behind his lids, before he finally opened them. He stared groggily at the ceiling.
The words stuck in Sam’s throat, but her fingers tightened around his arm, and slowly Jonas turned his head towards her.
“Sam?” he croaked, a slow but painful smile curving his lips.
She couldn’t stop her own smile, and nodded vigorously, fighting back stinging tears. “I’m here, honey. I’m here. It’s gonna be alright.” She promised and leaned closer, pressing a kiss against his forehead.
“It’s gonna be alright,” she whispered, trying to comfort herself, but never getting an answer from her husband.
To be continued...
Classification: Angst, AU, I'm not sure about the rest yet
Rating: PG
Spoilers/Set: During season 1, so expect to be spoiled for episodes up to First Commandement
Pairings: Sam/Jonas Hanson, Sam/Jack (UST, perhaps Romance not sure yet, I have to ask you to trust me on this)
Summary: What would have happened if Sam got married to Jonas Hanson.
A/N: Like I did with Reprieve I will be posting the parts as I go along here on my LJ. Only when the fic is complete will I post it on my website and on lists. You guys were all so supportive during Reprieve that I'm hoping it will encourage my muse this time around as well. Thank you all!
Ow yeah and before we begin. I just need to cover my ass about a statement made somewhere in this part:
This fic was approved and authorised by our American consultant
splash_the_cat.Thanks to
chiroho for taking a moment in his busy shedule to beta this. And to splash_the_cat who survived illness and christmas trees.PART 1
TWO MONTHS BEFORE THE ABYDOS MISSION
WASHINGTON, D.C.
Samantha Carter liked the office best at this time of the night. The only sound came from her computer, and occasionally she would hear the night guard pass down the hall. His name was Ronald, 42 years old, happily married with two kids in their mid-teens. Perhaps it was pathetic that they were on a first name basis, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. The small apartment she and her husband shared was not exactly her favourite place on the earth. The walls were too thin for comfort, and did nothing to muffle the noise from their next door neighbours, a young couple as passionate in their fighting as they were in their love making. So when Jonas was overseas on a mission, more often than not Sam found herself heading to her lab when things got too loud, even for her.
She sighed and sat back in her chair, taking a break from the keyboard and kneading the sore muscles in her neck. Tonight she wasn’t in her lab to escape her noisy neighbours. After five weeks Jonas had finally come home, but the reunion hadn’t been as easy as she’d expected. Sure, she had flung herself at him the minute she’d seen him at the airport. Five long weeks without sex always made her that much more eager, and as they had stumbled inside their apartment, they’d ended up making love against the door. She was pretty sure the neighbours had received a taste of their own medicine.
It was only afterwards that she’d noticed something was wrong. Instead of coming to bed, Jonas had gone out onto the balcony and just stood there. Her attempts to draw him back inside, or offer him something to eat, were met with a growl that she knew meant he wanted to be alone. Not wanting to hang around him when he was in one of his moods, she’d picked up her coat and decided she’d rather spent the night working.
“Samantha?” Sam was startled out of her thoughts. She hadn’t even heard the approaching footsteps.
“Hi, Catherine.” Sam smiled at the older woman as she entered the lab.
“What are you still doing here?” Catherine asked as she pulled up a chair and sat down opposite Sam.
“Shouldn’t I be asking you the same thing?” Sam raised her eyebrows.
“You know me. Couldn’t stop thinking.” Catherine brushed it off. “Didn’t you say that Jonas was coming back today?”
Sam couldn’t help herself, and winced at the mention of her husband. Catherine didn’t miss her hesitation, or her expression. “What’s wrong, Samantha?”
“It’s nothing. Just a bad mission I guess. He needed some space, so I thought I might as well do some work.” Sam sighed.
Catherine frowned and sat back in the chair, studying Sam. “We’re missing something,” she said suddenly.
Sam looked up, confused. “Missing what?”
“I don’t know.” Catherine shrugged. “You said you doubted the ring was made on earth...”
“Hang on! I didn’t say that!” Sam protested. “I said that I’ve never seen the alloy the ring is made from on earth before.”
Catherine grinned. “Okay, but what if it wasn’t made by us?” When Sam didn’t answer, she continued. “There is this archaeologist, Doctor Jackson, who has an unusual theory about the pyramids...”
“Catherine, there have been a lot of people with unusual theories about the pyramids.” Sam objected.
“I know. I know. I’m just saying he’s different. He has a very good reputation for his work and his recent findings caught my attention. He wrote a paper in which he attempted to prove that the pyramids are actually some sort of landing site for alien vessels.”
“Catherine!” Sam protested.
“I know what it sounds like, Samantha. But, it’s just...” She sighed. “Let’s call it a hunch. I think he might be able to help us.”
Sam shook her head at Catherine's enthusiasm. “You don’t really care what I’m going to say, do you?”
“Nope,” Catherine grinned.
Sam sighed. “When are you going to meet him?”
“He’s speaking at a lecture in a couple of weeks.” Catherine was smirking now.
“And what do you want me to do?” Sam asked
“You?” Catherine stood up. “Go home, Samantha. I know you’ve been missing Jonas.”
Sam shrugged. “I’m used to the separation. It’s always been like this - our jobs take up a lot of our time.”
“All the more reason to spend the time you do have, together.” Catherine pointed out.
“Yeah, I know. I just don’t want to get into an argument with him when he’s like this.” Sam sighed.
“He’s as pigheaded as you are?” Catherine joked lightly.
Sam laughed. “You could say that.”
Smiling, Catherine reached out and squeezed her hand. “Go home, Samantha. Life tends to give you too little time with the ones you love.”
Sam looked up to find sorrow in Catherine’s eyes. “I know.”
“’Night.” With that Catherine left the lab.
“’Night,” Sam sighed and stared at the computer screen. Perhaps she really should head home and see how Jonas was doing. Making up her mind, she shut down the computer, reached for her coat and headed home.
*****
The apartment was completely dark when Sam entered. She put her keys on the table and hung up her coat.
“Jonas?” She called softly. When she didn’t get a response, she headed to the bedroom only to find the bed unused. Frowning she headed back into the living room and started when she found him sitting in the armchair.
“Jonas? You okay?” She asked, slowly approaching him.
He was sitting with his elbows on his knees, rolling something between his fingers. When it glittered in the light falling through the window, Sam realised he was holding a coin.
“They should put that on the guns.” His voice was rougher than she remembered.
“Put what on the gun?s”
Jonas threw her the coin and she just managed to catch it.
“In God we trust.” Jonas snorted.
Sam looked down at the silvery coin and read the motto. She was so used to seeing it that she hadn’t really thought about it. “Why?”
“Why?” Jonas leaned back, his eyes glittering in the dark. “Did you know they put that on there during the Cold War? You couldn’t possibly be a commie if you believed in God. And money, well what isn’t more capitalist, right?”
Sam frowned and tossed the coin back. “What are you getting at?”
“A couple of nights ago there was an attack on the base. I have no idea how many managed to sneak in, but they made a mistake, and soon the whole camp was awake. We cornered them; they had no way of getting out. One of the senior officers tried talking them into surrendering, but they wouldn’t give up. They just kept shooting, trying to get as many of us as they could. Then there was a pause in the fighting and we realised there’s just one left alive. You could see him realise it too. But do you think he gave up? No, he took out his grenade and ran, shouting that ‘Allah is great’ shit. Can you see any of our guys doing that?” He didn’t pause for her answer. “Of course not! We don’t fight for our God. We fight for some suit behind a desk. Put that quote on our weapons, and then see how far we’ll get.”
Sam frowned, uncomfortable with what Jonas was saying. “You can’t possibly mean that.”
“Why not?” Jonas shrugged. “They’re doing it. Maybe the president should just call them all heathens and start a crusade. If they can, why can’t we?”
“I’m not sure I want to believe in a God that allows people to sacrifice their lives like that.” Sam shook her head. “I’m going to bed.” She announced, deciding she didn’t want to hear any more of this conversation. He was just being difficult because something was bugging him. “You can either join me, or stay out here.”
“Where were you anyway?” Jonas asked suddenly.
“Work. I forgot I had to do something in the lab.”
“Oh.” Jonas looked at her thoughtfully, clearly not buying her excuse.
“’Night, Jonas.” Sam said before turning and heading to the bathroom.
When she got into bed a short time later, Jonas was there waiting for her. He smiled when she entered the room, and drew back the sheets.
“Hey, babe. I missed you.” He said playfully.
Sam couldn’t help it, and returned the smile, glad his bad mood had abated. “Hey,” she grinned, and slipped under the covers. Jonas wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled up against him.
Catherine was right, she had missed him. “I’m glad you’re home.” She whispered.
“Me too, Sam. Me too.” Jonas replied, and kissed her forehead gently.
*****
MORNING OF THE ABYDOS MISSION
Sam pushed the papers into her briefcase, while at the same time trying to drink her too hot coffee. She couldn’t believe she had overslept. She never overslept. Still, she couldn’t remember even hearing the alarm clock, so now she was running late.
She burnt her tongue, but ignored it as she slammed the cup down on the table and reached for her shoes. She tried to balance herself on one foot while putting the high heels on the other. She hated her dress uniform. The skirt wasn’t designed for any sort of action whatsoever. Smoothing the skirt back down after putting on her shoes, she reached for her briefcase, and was about to head out of the door when the phone rang.
Talk about bad timing.
She snatched the receiver from it’s cradle. “Carter-Hanson.”
“Samantha?” The familiar voice on the other end asked.
Sam let her annoyance slip. “Hi, Catherine.”
“I’m sorry, did I catch you at a bad time?”
“Kind of. I was just about to head to the Pentagon.” Sam explained as she put her briefcase on the floor next to the closet.
“Seems I saved you the trip then.” Catherine informed her cheerily.
“Is there something I should know?”
“You could say that. I can’t tell you too much as this isn’t a secure line, but you’re gonna love this. We found out how to work the Stargate.”
“Stargate?” Sam interrupted.
“That’s what it’s called according to Doctor Jackson.” Catherine answered quickly, seeming impatient to tell Sam more.
“So he agreed to help out! That’s good.”
“Yes, but Samantha; you’re not going to believe this. The Stargate it...” Catherine groaned. “It works, we sent a probe through. I’ll explain it all to you when you get here.”
“Where’s here exactly?” Sam asked confusedly. Even though she didn’t know what Catherine was so excited about, she could feel the tension in the pit of her stomach increase. This sounded like something big.
“Colorado Springs. Samantha, I’ve arranged a flight for you early this afternoon. We’ll need your expertise here. You’re going to love this.” Sam grinned as she imagined the old lady bouncing up and down with joy.
“Hang on. How long do you want me to stay out there?” If this was as big as Catherine was hinting, she doubted she was going to be back in D.C any time soon.
“If this is what I think it is, you’ll never want to leave again. The Air Force will organise your replacement. They’ll make sure your stuff gets transferred to Colorado, and they’ll arrange housing as well. You don’t have to worry about a thing.”
“Catherine, I am married, you know. Jonas does have a say in this.” Sam protested, not sure she could just decide on this without his consent.
“Trust me, Samantha. You do not want to miss this. Jonas will understand. I need you here A.S.A.P. So pack your bags, and get yourself on that plane!” Catherine ordered.
Sam laughed. “Alright. I’ll go and pack now.”
“And one last thing. Before you get here, I need you to do something for me.”
Sam shook her head. “And what would that be?”
“The Air Force is insisting some Colonel lead the mission. The weird thing is, it seems they’re pulling him out of retirement. Could you run a check on him? See what his history is?”
Sam sighed heavily, knowing Catherine wasn’t allowed to ask her to run a background on an Air Force officer. “Okay I’ll do it, but you owe me big time. What’s his name and rank?”
She could imagine Catherine grinning. “Colonel Jack O’Neill. That’s two l’s. Thank you, Samantha. I'll see you later."
Laughing, Sam agreed. “See you later, Catherine.”
With that she hung up, and decided to pack her bags first. Then she’d head over to the Pentagon and check that Colonel out, before going to the airport.
*****
Catherine owed her big time. She’d had to pull quite a few strings to get hold of Jack O’Neill’s records. Her general search on the database hadn’t given her much - most of his missions and past were classified.
She browsed through the file. One black ops mission after another, and some of them not pretty at all. This man clearly knew what classified meant; the Air Force’s choice to have him lead the mission clearly made sense.
She stopped on a page as her eyes caught the phrase “Missing In Action”. A black ops mission gone wrong while parachuting over enemy territory. The document was drawn up the same day he’d gone down. Sam knew what that meant - no rescue. His superiors had no scruples about leaving him behind, as Major O’Neill had been aware of the risks that went along with that particular mission.
Sam swallowed, trying to image what it’d be like to go down and know that no one would come after you. Drawing a deep breath she turned the page and couldn’t help but feel relieved when the next document announced that Jack O’Neill had been found. Of course he must have been as she knew he was alive now, but still she couldn’t help it.
They hadn’t gone back to retrieve him. Instead, he had come limping out of the desert with a skull fracture, and broken ribs and leg.
Sam grinned. “Too stubborn to die, huh?” Shaking her head, she read on. His missions didn’t get any easier.
She swallowed as she came to a document very much like the other one, again stating Jack O’Neill had gone missing in action deep in Iraq. The statement of his CO, Colonel Cromwell, explained they were overpowered. O’Neill had gone down a hundred meters from the rescue chopper. He had been conscious, but Cromwell wasn’t able to get back to him as they’d been cut off by Iraqi forces.
“Oh, God.” Sam whispered, turning the page with shaking hands. The next document was three months later. The Iraqi government had contacted the US, demanding the exchange of some of their men in return for American POW’s. A list of twenty prisoners had been released. O’Neill was on it.
Apparently it took them another three weeks to arrange the exchange. O’Neill had been recovered, but the psych board’s evaluation was anything but positive. This was a man who had looked death in the eyes. He’d held out for four months in an Iraqi prison. There weren’t any files on what they did to him, but Sam had heard the stories all before.
Half a year later, the Air Force allowed O’Neill to return to active duty, against the advisement of the psychiatrist. Sam’s frown deepened as she scanned through the missions he was sent on afterwards. Each one more dangerous. This was a man flirting with death - exactly what the military could use. Until it all stopped when Jack O’Neill handed in his letter of resignation, asking for a voluntary retirement. It seemed abrupt - the high follow up of missions suddenly coming to a stop with a decision that did not seem to fit the rest of the man’s profile. It was as if some disaster had struck him, and finally made him cave.
The last document was recent, added only days ago. Again, it was a psych evaluation stating the Colonel was suicidal, but giving no further explanation. It seemed strange. Why would the Air Force chose a suicidal officer to lead a mission that could very well change the entire future of the human race? She had her suspicions.
Sam didn’t get any more time to think about it as her phone rang. She closed the file as she picked up the telephone.
“Captain Carter speaking,” she answered as she absentmindedly opened the file again on the first page. The black and white photo caught her attention.
“Ms Carter-Hanson?” A young voice inquired.
“That’s me,” her finger moved over his cheek. She could only image what those dark eyes had seen. The reports only gave the facts.
“I’m afraid I have some bad new, Ma’am.”
Her head snapped up, fingers still on the paper. “What? What’s wrong?”
“I’m afraid your husband has been injured in the line of duty, Ma’am...”
“Injured? What happened? Will he be alright?” Sam panicked.
“It was touch and go for a while, but he is stable at the moment, and has been moved to a military hospital in Naples, Italy.” He ignored her first question, but then she didn’t really expect him to answer that. She never got an explanation.
She slowly expelled the breath she had been holding, and stared down at the table, a face so unlike Jonas looking back at her. “So he’s alright now?” She needed to hear the reassurance.
“Yes, Ma’am.”
Tiredly Sam rubbed her forehead. “Am I allowed to see him?
“That is part of the reason I am calling, Ma’am. There is a military transport leaving for Naples within the hour. If you want, a seat will be saved for you.”
“Yes! I’ll be there.” Sam replied without thinking, and jotted down the instructions on a post-it note.
As she hung up, Sam sat back in her chair, staring out in front of her. Just minutes ago she had felt excited about the Stargate – she still had to get used to that name – working and now... It wasn’t the first time Jonas had been injured, just not so bad that the Air Force actually offered to get her to Italy to see him.
She had to remind herself that he was stable as she reached for the telephone again to call Catherine. Four operators later, Sam was nearing desperation when the familiar voice finally answered her.
“Catherine! Thank you! Listen, I don’t have much time.” She immediately started rambling. “Jonas’ has been injured. I have to go to Naples. He’s stable for now, but I have to see him.”
It took a moment for Catherine to take in the news. “Oh God, Samantha. I’m so sorry. What happened?”
Sam snorted. “I doubt I’ll ever know. Jonas’s in black ops, so it’s all need to know.” She sighed.
“Are you alright?” Catherine asked.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Sam clenched her hand, preventing it from trembling any further. “At least I will be when I see he’s alright.”
“He will be,” Sam wished she could be as sure of that as Catherine sounded. “Give me a call when you know more?”
“I will. Thanks, Catherine. I've got to go, I have a plane to catch and it wasn’t easy getting through to you.”
“Security is a bit high here,” Catherine tried to joke.
“Yeah, I bet it is.” Sam bit her lip, and her eyes drifted back to the picture. “Oh, by the way, I looked into that Colonel O’Neill for you. Most of the missions he was on are classified. He has seen a lot of action. Just, be careful with him. According to his last psych evaluation he’s suicidal. It’s strange, because the evaluation was done very shortly after his retirement.”
“That’s odd.”
Sam shook her head. She didn’t want to think about Jack O’Neill right now. “Catherine, I’ve got to go.”
“Yes, of course. Take care, Samantha. I’ll be praying for you both.”
Sam wasn’t sure how much good that would do, but said nothing. She just thanked Catherine and hung up. Looking one last time at the picture, she closed the file before closing down her office and heading to the airport.
*****
Sam stood uncertainly inside the infirmary, watching the pale man on the bed. Wires and tubes were attached to his body, a soft beeping indicating the steady beat of her husband’s heart. The doctor’s words still echoed inside her mind, a long list of injuries. Yet all she could clearly remember was that he was going to be alright. It would take a while before he would heal completely, but he would be alright.
Tiredly, Sam took a step closer to his bed, unsure how to act. The flight here had exhausted her, her mind constantly racing with worst case scenarios. What if she arrived too late?
Forcing herself to move, she walked up to his bed and took his cold hand into hers. At least he didn’t need help breathing anymore.
“You scared me, Jonas.” She whispered, fighting back the tears. How many close calls had she been through with him? Too many, that was for sure.
Taking a shuddering breath, she released his hand and pulled a chair closer. Her body ached as she sat down - military planes weren’t exactly as comfortable as commercial flights.
Leaning forward, she placed a gentle hand on his arm. “I’m never gonna find out what happened to you, am I?” She asked, needing to fill the room with some sound other than the electronic beeps. She knew what ‘classified’ meant. Heck, half of the time neither of them could tell the other what they had been doing. It wasn’t that she didn’t understand, but sometimes she wondered what they made him do.
Her mind drifted back to the records she had read earlier today. Was it only today? It seemed ages ago. She wondered if Jonas saw half as much as Colonel O’Neill had, if he would be as lucky as him and escape death as many times. But was it really lucky? The man had been a POW. Sam felt sick as she imagined Jonas in his shoes. Would he come out suicidal as well?
Her thoughts were interrupted as Jonas moved. She held her breath as she watched his eyes move behind his lids, before he finally opened them. He stared groggily at the ceiling.
The words stuck in Sam’s throat, but her fingers tightened around his arm, and slowly Jonas turned his head towards her.
“Sam?” he croaked, a slow but painful smile curving his lips.
She couldn’t stop her own smile, and nodded vigorously, fighting back stinging tears. “I’m here, honey. I’m here. It’s gonna be alright.” She promised and leaned closer, pressing a kiss against his forehead.
“It’s gonna be alright,” she whispered, trying to comfort herself, but never getting an answer from her husband.
To be continued...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-12-21 07:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 02:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 04:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 04:47 am (UTC)I'm not sure we'd like the Jack O'Neill that went on those black ops missions. But it's certainly interesting , esp in fics ;o)
no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 05:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 06:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-23 03:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-23 04:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 02:33 am (UTC)I'll try to write more soon =o)
no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 08:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 02:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 04:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 07:13 am (UTC)WAITS.
WAITS MORE.
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Date: 2003-12-22 08:06 am (UTC)*pats* There will be more. I'm half way through Part 2. Does that help? =o)
no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 08:39 am (UTC)*sighs*
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Date: 2003-12-22 09:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 08:01 am (UTC)about the fic, wow :) should be illegal that you already have me waiting to know what's going to happen on the next chapter. Oh well, keep like that! I don't know where you are heading but is nice so far *g* keep going and regarding:
(UST, perhaps Romance not sure yet, I have to ask you to trust me on this)
I trust you :-D
no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 08:05 am (UTC)Where did it say that? ;o) It did say "Part One" you know...
should be illegal that you already have me waiting to know what's going to happen on the next chapter.
*g* Good for me that it isn't! ;o)
Thank you hon *knuffels* I'll try to hurry =o)
no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 12:41 pm (UTC)I'm having withdrawl symptoms already... :o)
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Date: 2003-12-22 12:42 pm (UTC)Oops er... *goes get Fraiser*
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Date: 2003-12-22 12:46 pm (UTC)Cold turkey... And at this time of year as well!
Oh! The irony!?!
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Date: 2003-12-22 12:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 02:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 02:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 03:16 pm (UTC)Great start, babe. And really, gimme more. *g*
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Date: 2003-12-22 04:36 pm (UTC)I'll see what I can do ;o)
no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 06:12 pm (UTC)*taps foot*
;-)
no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 06:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-23 11:11 am (UTC)This is simply wonderful. I can not express my love for pre-SGC fis enough right now, but this seems to be leading to somewhere very special.
*pokes your muse...just cause*
no subject
Date: 2003-12-23 11:19 am (UTC)Should warn you though, only the beginning is pre-SGC.
Careful with the muse poking, last time Julie did that she disintegrated...
no subject
Date: 2003-12-23 11:49 am (UTC)My muse spends too much time sculpting clouds to help me much!
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Date: 2003-12-23 11:52 am (UTC)