It's a season
Dec. 20th, 2006 01:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
woodfaceI actually feel like I slept today. Went to bed an hour early and lay awake for a while, but I managed to sleep in which did me good. I was up early yesterday to do radio with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
anomilygrace. It was a whole lot of fun to do, but I'm glad I don't have to do this every week. *is in awe of radio people* It also helped distract me from the dream where I had chest hair. Pretty coarse chest hair too and strangely enough not curled. Dude, was I glad that was a dream because it would have been hell to wax.
Christmas is going to be weird this year. I'm lacking any sort of inspiration for good presents. My mom at least had some ideas and so in the end I got to send a shirt to Christine in the US. Nathalie just wanted money, but my mom and I agreed that it is kind of a sad thing to put under the christmas tree so we chipped in together to buy her a pendant as well. Note, that she picked the pendant herself so we know she'll like it. And I'll probably buy my mom's present together with my sister. Which just leaves Youri, but Nathalie offered that we buy that together too. I guess I have things covered.
Despite that, I'm still not in a christmas mood. Both Christine and the family we usually spend christmas with won't be here. It's odd. The fact that I still don't have a job leaves a bitter taste as well. I seem to be stuck and I've got no one to blame but myself. So try harder. I've been broadening my responses to applications like whoa, but half of the time they don't even bother to reply or it takes months before I do get an answer. And any time there is a letter, you know it's negative because they would have contacted you differently if they had been interested. It especially stings when you apply to something you think you're perfect for, get a negative answer and then get an email suggesting to apply there a few weeks later.
So yeah, I dunno. I'm living inside my own head too much. I'm too easily annoyed at things that I should just let slide. I'm tired of people, of attitudes, of hypocrisy, of... well, a whole lot. I need to stop being scared. I normally don't do New Year's resolutions, but I should this year. I think if I don't have a reply by then from this one thing I applied to, that I should see about getting into some courses. I need to push myself more, but it's hard to work up the energy when every time you do, you get knocked back. It's not going to do, though. I'm messing up my own life right now and I need to stop doing it.
It's not all bad, though. I ordered KotOR 1 & 2 the other day. I should have it after New Year. I'm meeting up with Emily next week. Also, after lunch I'm going to listen to Talk Talk. I have decided that 'Such a shame' could be a Zuko song. And now I'm going to stop rambling.
anomilygrace. It was a whole lot of fun to do, but I'm glad I don't have to do this every week. *is in awe of radio people* It also helped distract me from the dream where I had chest hair. Pretty coarse chest hair too and strangely enough not curled. Dude, was I glad that was a dream because it would have been hell to wax.Christmas is going to be weird this year. I'm lacking any sort of inspiration for good presents. My mom at least had some ideas and so in the end I got to send a shirt to Christine in the US. Nathalie just wanted money, but my mom and I agreed that it is kind of a sad thing to put under the christmas tree so we chipped in together to buy her a pendant as well. Note, that she picked the pendant herself so we know she'll like it. And I'll probably buy my mom's present together with my sister. Which just leaves Youri, but Nathalie offered that we buy that together too. I guess I have things covered.
Despite that, I'm still not in a christmas mood. Both Christine and the family we usually spend christmas with won't be here. It's odd. The fact that I still don't have a job leaves a bitter taste as well. I seem to be stuck and I've got no one to blame but myself. So try harder. I've been broadening my responses to applications like whoa, but half of the time they don't even bother to reply or it takes months before I do get an answer. And any time there is a letter, you know it's negative because they would have contacted you differently if they had been interested. It especially stings when you apply to something you think you're perfect for, get a negative answer and then get an email suggesting to apply there a few weeks later.
So yeah, I dunno. I'm living inside my own head too much. I'm too easily annoyed at things that I should just let slide. I'm tired of people, of attitudes, of hypocrisy, of... well, a whole lot. I need to stop being scared. I normally don't do New Year's resolutions, but I should this year. I think if I don't have a reply by then from this one thing I applied to, that I should see about getting into some courses. I need to push myself more, but it's hard to work up the energy when every time you do, you get knocked back. It's not going to do, though. I'm messing up my own life right now and I need to stop doing it.
It's not all bad, though. I ordered KotOR 1 & 2 the other day. I should have it after New Year. I'm meeting up with Emily next week. Also, after lunch I'm going to listen to Talk Talk. I have decided that 'Such a shame' could be a Zuko song. And now I'm going to stop rambling.
