I actually saw this while checking my flist before I left for work this morning, but didn't have time to read it, and I suspect I might have forgotten to go back and read it after I got home if not for my fic pimp up there a few comments, who always makes sure I don't miss out on the good stuff.
Love the writing style -- stark and forceful, and really makes the feel of this piece work. And I love the way you take the Colonials' glimmer of hope and unrelentingly dampen it down into bleak desperation; this is very much in tune with the spirit of the show. The way each optimistic reconaissance report is juxtaposed with a subtle but ominous note is great. And actually, I think the way you start it off with a series of figures really contributes to this; there's something cold and almost disturbing about so many precise numbers when you use them that way.
My one and only nitpick -- and I hate to do this -- is "the ships will be dissembled," as "dissemble" means to disguise oneself or assume a false identity. :) Other than that, though, I've no complaints whatsoever. This was a fantastic piece.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2005-04-05 01:39 am (UTC)I actually saw this while checking my flist before I left for work this morning, but didn't have time to read it, and I suspect I might have forgotten to go back and read it after I got home if not for my fic pimp up there a few comments, who always makes sure I don't miss out on the good stuff.
Love the writing style -- stark and forceful, and really makes the feel of this piece work. And I love the way you take the Colonials' glimmer of hope and unrelentingly dampen it down into bleak desperation; this is very much in tune with the spirit of the show. The way each optimistic reconaissance report is juxtaposed with a subtle but ominous note is great. And actually, I think the way you start it off with a series of figures really contributes to this; there's something cold and almost disturbing about so many precise numbers when you use them that way.
My one and only nitpick -- and I hate to do this -- is "the ships will be dissembled," as "dissemble" means to disguise oneself or assume a false identity. :) Other than that, though, I've no complaints whatsoever. This was a fantastic piece.