woodface

I went to Leuven with my sister yesterday. My mom is insisting that I buy pants/jeans and shoes. Tried on a pair of shoes, decided I didn't like them, didn't try anything else as my size seemed to be missing from all. Glanced at jeans, decided they were crappy and we went home. Then my mom dragged me out today to buy jeans. I bought a pair so she would shut up about it. I just don't want to restock on jeans when I want to lose weight first. Alas, that doesn't seem to be happening any time soon.

Need to start looking for a job seriously. Kinda scary. Will have to start typing up some letters and send them to the Royal Lirary, the museum and maybe the papers/telly. Not that I'm hopefull that they'll hire me but I can try. I seem to not qualify for the jobs that I find marginally interesting. Ugh. I know partly I'm just looking for excuses to not have to apply for it. I guess somewhere I want to wait until I find something that will make me go "yes, this is the job that I want to have for the rest of my life". Alas, I doubt there is such a thing. Scared!Jara is lookingforexcuses!Jara.

My Farscape unease has settled a bit. I think I might distract myself with the shiny battlestar galatica downloads tonight. Amazon is also blinding me with there 63% off of Stargate boxsets sales. Yes, I might buy S2 and S3 together with the miniseries of BSG. That and we are going to order the Harry Potter book too.

I have no urge to read fanfiction at the moment, despite the long list of fics I need to catch up with from authors that I really like. Instead, I reread

lytarules's White Out and some bad smut in between. Wonder if it has to do with my lack of urge to write anything. I think somewhere along the line I talked myself out of writing all together. I have just become so disgruntled with anything I write down that I don't seem to want to bother to try and finish any fics (let alone start new ones). Is that a sort of depression (I just feel weird since I got back)? It's unsettling to have my mind this quiet without some sort of scenario running through my brain. Normally I am excited about at least something (even if I don't write it down). For a minute there I thought Farscape was going to tickle my muse but now she is quiet about that too. I used to believe that if I didn't make up stories, it was a sign that my soul had died. *looks worried*

That slut meme that has been going around has convinced me that I should have made out with some of the people I met up with. Damn, I'm not enough of a hussy.

Yeah, I really need to make shorter posts, sorry.

Oh yeah, I had an odd dream last night about being in the US and meeting people. I got in a fight with