Writing

[woodface]

poohmusings's post made me think about my writing and I came to the conclusion that I somewhat - not entirely - disagree with her.


I guess it has to do with my definition of writing. To me writing is about two processes. The first one is when I sit down and I try to write a story that has developed in my mind. I agree, it's important that this happens because of what you want to write and not with a view of receiving praise. Writing is a cleansing process. Well it can be. I have plenty of fics that have no real deep psychological meaning. Unless you call my utter fluffiness projection. Other stories like Reprieve and Point Blank come from somewhere inside me, a place that I learn to discover while writing.

Writing Reprieve most of all was about venting frustrations and pain in my real life. It worked, it showed and I felt happy to have been able to finish such a long fic. I think the achievement still stands now as I haven't been able to write anything as profound for me.

This is just one part of writing though. I'm not sure if I would write if I knew no one would read it. I really don't know. I will always have stories within me, I love playing with them and exploring them. I just don't know if I would make the effort to actually write them down if it wasn't for an audience. I write because I want to be read. I write partly for myself, to express and explore parts of my mind and of the world around us. I equally write to touch people, to open a new world in someone's mind. If that part of writing would disappear, a reason for me to actually write would as well.

Writing is wanting to be eternal. I'm not claiming that my silly fanfictions will make me remembered 100 years down the line, far from it. But I do believe that by writing down your stories, you somewhere want them to be maintained beyond the chamber of your mind.

Feedback and awards. I still love what suzvoy said; "It's a privilege, not a right." I agree with her wholeheartedly. It is a privilege, but one I love and hope to get. First of all because it is a way for me to know that I succeeded (or not) in touching someone with my writings. Feedback will influence how I feel about my fics. However, this probably has more to do with insecurity that anything else. If a fic I loved writing and enjoyed very much gets little to no response, I'm sad. I can still be proud about having written it, but I'll be disappointed if I don't succeed in reaching anyone with what I wrote.

I agree with Karen when she says that you should not write solely for feedback and awards. I doubt a fic written only for that purpose would be any good anyway. If an author doesn't give himself in his stories, they just won't work. However, I refuse to see writing as just the one process of writing for one self. Writing and being read go together. One can not live without the other. If no one reads what I write, I might as well leave the images inside my head.

But then, I'm not an ambitious writer. I'm sloppy. I don't slave over my fics as much as some people do. I have learned a lot about writing since I joined this fandom.

splash_the_cat is a writer who has taught me the most about it all. Just by watching her write, seeing what sort of adjustments she makes. I admire the way she writes. The way she can move sentences around to make them flow better. Although I'm far from being a perfectionist, I have learned some of that patience and determination but certainly not all. I'm a long way from being there - I doubt I ever will be - but I have bettered my life somewhat. Partly this is to blame with writing in English. The whole writing process always makes me aware of my boundaries within the language. Esp when I go through a beta. There are a lot of things I just don't see or would never come up with. Frankly, I don't know if I would come up with them even if English was my native language. It humbles me as a writer and makes you respect people who are capable of doing this.