woodface

I'm in a weird mood and possibly it will just turn out to be PMS. I just watched two trashy movies at once while I have perfectly good DVD's. I'm trying to ignore the cat that is currently trying to get my attention. I am not going to let her outside now and end up having to check up on her wanting to come inside for the next hour or two. But I think if I let her out of my room she might go wake my parents.

Bah, I've been goofing of today (and yesterday). I always work in up and downs, I did a lot during the week so now my brain is taking a breather. I should be stressed and I suspect that I am but I can't bother to allow myself to feel it.

I suspect that I might just be partly manic. My mood goes with cycles; highs and lows. Then again, there is a lot of numbness in between so it's probably not that.

I was feeling good this week. Happy, on top of things despite the panicking part about the thesis. Haven't felt that good for a while now. So it's natural I get a low after it.

This guitar in Dido reminds me too much of David Sylvian. I actually wanted to listen to Loreena McKennitt but I can't find the tape - again - of the CD I want to hear.

Ugh, my head hasn't really been with lj these last couple of days. I'm hurrying through the posts to much and feeling guilty about the hurrying. The muse is off to Lalala land again. She better not come back with another plot. I'm glad she gave up on the firefighter idea. It's just too weird writing Sam and Jack outside the military. Still want to read it though.

It's strange how I rarely feel a buzz over music anymore. Friday was an exception. Live music seems to be able to take me away but so many songs I used to love don't seem to get to me anymore. I rarely put on a CD anymore unless I just bought it. Most of the time my room is quiet while I used to have music on constantly. This moment is an exception too cause normally I don't bother putting on my headphones to listen to something while my parents sleep. It's just one of those changes that make me wonder who I turned into. I think I've come to a point where I can no longer pretend the changes are just temporary. But then perhaps putting your life on hold eventually means you put parts of yourself on hold until they permanently stop being a part of you.

Respect yourself now, the love you've yet to know will guide your way.

Those words touched me when Luka sang them. There is something inside this man, inside his music, that seems to come from somewhere my mind can't even grasp. Maybe it's love or happiness, contentment. Maybe it's all those things together. It feels surreal to hear him talk about politics and insomania in between the songs because you're still imagining him getting up at 1am to sit down and record songs so they will sound genuinly sleepy. And I envy that he has found a way of living that makes him capable of having such an outlet. Although I doubt that he is rich. Perhaps it's just strange to imagine he's human.

And in the end, I just wish Hya was here to tell me I think too much.

And now for something completely different;

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAYS TO