Fic: Awry Part 4
Apr. 6th, 2004 01:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
woodfaceDisclaimers etc: See part 1
A/N: Huge big thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chiroho and splash_the_cat who did a kick ass job on kicking this fic's ass. You guys rock!
I can't believe it took me 40 pages to finally get to this point. Yes, more to come. But I don't know when because of the thesis and a rampant muse. Thank you to everyone who is bearing with me on this. I hope you enjoy this part.
PART FOUR
14:56 WASHINGTON D.C.
Sam woke slowly, her neck protesting against the awkward position she was in. Groaning, she rolled onto her back, wondering why she was sleeping on the couch. Someone had closed the curtains, and the blanket that covered her had slipped onto the floor, but she didn’t bother picking it up.
Tiredly, she rubbed a hand through her hair. The memories were returning. Her dad had met her at the airport. He hadn’t pushed her to talk, simply embraced her and held her just like she had needed him to.
“I thought you were going to sleep forever,” Jacob murmured, and she turned her head to find her father sitting in the armchair, an amused look on his face.
“What time is it?” She didn’t feel like moving to look for the clock.
“15:00,” Jacob answered. “You must have been exhausted. I only went to get your bag out of the car, and when I came back you were asleep on the couch.”
Sam stretched her arms over her head and closed her eyes again. “I *am* exhausted.”
“Sam?” She heard his concern, and could imagine his frown.
“Mmmmm?”
“Are you alright?”
“No, I’m not.” She sighed and opened her eyes, turning so she saw Jacob sitting with his elbows on his knees, watching her.
“What’s wrong, honey?” His words alone nearly undid her.
She blinked away tears and shook her head, unsure of how to drop this bombshell on him.
“Is it Jonas? Did you have a fight?”
“No. We didn’t fight. Not really anyway.” Some of what Jonas had said to Janet came back to her. They hadn’t really fought, but it was beyond any doubt that he blamed her and was angry with her. Hell, she was angry at herself.
“Does he even know you’re here?”
“I left him a note saying that I’m visiting you.” She tried not to imagine Jonas coming home to an empty house.
“Sam, you know you can talk to me...”
“I know, Dad. I know. It’s just... I need more time.” She looked at him pleadingly. “Please, Dad. I can’t do this. Not right now. It’s just too much at the moment.”
Jacob frowned, but nodded in understanding. “Okay, but if you need to talk, promise you’ll come to me?”
“I promise.” She gave him a watery smile as he got up from the armchair.
“How about you go freshen up, and I’ll make you a snack?”
“A snack?” Sam raised her eyebrows, relieved at the shift to a lighter tone in their conversation.
“A sandwich? Ice cream? Cookies? Pie? You name it! Anything for my little girl.”
“Dad!” Sam protested, but smiled none-the-less. “Chocolate cake?”
Jacob laughed and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. “Cake it is. Now go take a shower. I put your stuff in the guestroom.”
Sam watched Jacob head into the kitchen. She was glad to be here, glad she didn’t have to deal with the pressure from Jonas. Even if she and her father didn’t always get along as well as she wished, he still was her father, and he would always be there for her.
“Dad?” She called after him.
“Yeah?” He turned and looked at her expectantly.
“Thanks.”
“Anytime, kiddo. Anytime.”
It took her another week before she finally told Jacob what had happened. He had walked in on her one evening, and found her in tears. As he cradled her in his arms, trying to comfort her, she sobbed out the story. She remembered how, on the day of her mother's funeral, she had snuck into her brother’s room and woken up the next morning warm and safe in the arms of both Mark and her dad. And just like then, she felt better knowing she wasn’t alone.
*****
Sam pushed the last piece of pancake around her plate. Even though she was on leave and her dad was retired, they still both woke up at the crack of dawn. She had been here for two weeks now, and while she felt better, a whole lot better than when she first arrived, she dreaded having to face Colorado Springs again.
“Sam.” Jacob placed his hand over hers, stopping the movement.
“Mmmm?” She had a feeling he knew what she was thinking about.
“Have you called Jonas yet?”
She let go of the fork, the clatter as it connected with the plate making her wince. “No.”
“Sam...” He didn’t have to finish his sentence for her to know what was coming.
“I know, Dad. It just isn’t easy.” She felt like a complete coward, but right now she’d rather call herself names than face Jonas’ disappointment.
“Of course it isn’t, but this isn’t like you. You normally don’t run away like you have.”
“I didn’t run away!” Jacob raised an eyebrow and she sighed. “Okay, fine. Yes, I ran. But Dad, you should have seen him when he found out.”
“Would I have wanted to kick his ass?”
Sam gave him a little smile and shook her head. “He’s disappointed...”
“I don’t care. He let you believe this was your fault and that’s... that’s...” Jacob slammed his hand down on the tabletop in frustration. “He should have been there for you.”
“Perhaps, but...”
“Jesus, Sam. Stop making excuses for him.”
“I’m not. I didn’t exactly wait for him to talk about it. I was the one who ran.”
Jacob sighed and reached over the table to squeeze her hand. “You shouldn't have run, no. But after the way he treated you, I understand.”
“You never approved of him.”
“Sammy, that’s hardly the point here. Why did you marry him?”
“Because I love him.” Sam stared at his hand, still wrapped tightly around hers.
“Do you still love him?”
She nodded, wondering if Jonas would still feel the same after what she put him through.
“Then I think it’s time for you to try and sort things out before it is too late,” Jacob told her softly.
“But what if it is already? Too late, I mean.” She hated feeling this insecure. Her whole life had been about proving that she wasn’t weak, that she was as strong as anybody else, even stronger.
“Then at least you’ll have tried, and you won’t have to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been.” Sam knew he was right. She would blame herself even more if she didn’t face this. Perhaps then she would be able to face herself again.
“You’re right,” she whispered, and Jacob chuckled.
“I’m always right.”
“I wouldn’t go that far, Dad.”
Jacob grinned, but his teasing reply was interrupted by the telephone.
Sam watched him pick up the telephone and grin broadly.
“George! You old dog. How have you been doing?”
Sam started to clear the table. She didn’t pay attention to the pleasantries her father exchanged with the caller until she heard her name.
“Sam? Yeah, she’s here. You want to talk to her?” Jacob sounded confused.
Sam watched as her father listened intently to whatever George had to say.
“No, I didn’t know that. Hang on while I get her.” Jacob motioned for her to approach. Placing his hand over the telephone, he said, “You didn’t tell me George Hammond was your commanding officer.”
“I didn’t know that you knew each other.” Sam reached for the telephone but Jacob pulled it away from her grasp.
“Sam! You know George. We served in ‘Nam together.”
“Oh!” She remembered her parents mentioning the name when she was younger, but never made any connection between the young Major who had served with her father, and the General she now served under.
Jacob shook his head in amused annoyance and handed her the telephone.
“Sir?” She had called him that morning, right after her calling her dad, and had requested some time off. Hammond had been very understanding and told her to take her time. Truth was, they both knew the Stargate program was going nowhere. It was just a matter of time before she would be called back to the Pentagon so she could spend her time on more important issues.
“Captain Carter, I’m sorry to interrupt your leave like this but something has come up and you are needed at Cheyenne Mountain immediately.” She noticed the urgency in his voice.
“I understand, Sir.” She knew it had to do with the Stargate.
“Captain, I know this is a difficult time for you, and if you don’t feel you are up for the task then I want you to tell me. This is very important, and as much as I want you to be a part of this mission, I need to know that you are ready to do this.”
She had no clue what was going on, but judging by the seriousness with which the General spoke, it had to be big. She’d be damned if she’d miss out on anything that involved the Stargate. It had been too much a part of her life for the past few years. “No, Sir. I’m up to it. When do you need me in Colorado?”
“Now, Captain. Transport has been arranged and will leave within the hour. I expect you to be on it.”
“Yes, Sir. I’ll be there.”
Hammond gave her the flight specifics. “I’ll make sure someone picks you up from the airport.” The next thing she knew he had hung up.
A slight buzz settled in her stomach as she put the telephone down and turned to find her father watching her.
“I've got to go. General Hammond wants me back in Colorado right away.”
“I figured that.” Jacob replied. “What was it about?”
She shook her head. “Deep space radar telemetry.”
“Right.” Jacob chuckled. “Need some help getting your things together?”
“No, I’ll just be a minute.”
It took her less than ten minutes to get everything in order, and then Jacob drove her to the airport, parking in the lane reserved for cabs.
“Sam, are you sure you don’t want me to see you off?” Jacob asked, his hand on the key, as if he'd turn it off the moment she said no.
“I’ll be fine, dad. Despite what you believe, I am old enough to get on a plane on my own.”
Jacob sighed. “I know that.”
Sam smiled and leaned over, giving him a kiss on his cheek. “I’ll be alright. Thank you for everything. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
“Anytime, honey. Anytime.” Jacob smiled, hugging her briefly. “Now is there anything you want me to do? I can call Jonas and tell him you’re heading back if you want.”
Sam shook her head. “No, I think I should talk to him myself. It’s probably for the best.”
“Okay then. Take care, okay? And if there’s anything you need...”
Sam grinned. “I’ll give you a call. I promise.”
Jacob sighed as a cab drove up behind them, horn blaring. “You better go or you’ll miss your flight.”
Sam snickered. “Or that cabdriver will call the cops and you’ll get a fine.” She kissed him once more. “Bye, Dad.”
“Bye, honey,” he murmured as she got out of the car and collected her bag out of the back seat.
She stood just outside the doors and waved as he drove away.
Taking a deep breath, Sam headed inside. It was time for her to try and pick up the pieces of her life in Colorado.
*****
Sam managed to just avoid colliding with an over-excited airman.
“Sorry, ma’am,” he muttered as he hurried off.
She shook her head and proceeded towards General Hammond’s office. The corridors were humming with life, so unlike how it had been before she'd left. It looked like Hammond had recalled most personnel, but she doubted the reasons why were good. Everyone was tense, as if a storm was brewing behind the grey walls.
She straightened her shirt, and wondered again if she should have changed into her dress uniform before coming down, but she had been too curious to waste her time in the locker room.
She rapped softly on the General's door, and then entered the room at Hammond’s command.
“Sir.” Sam came to attention.
“Sit down, Captain.” Hammond didn't even look up from the papers in front of him.
Sam did as ordered and waited patiently for the General to finish whatever he was doing.
“I’m sorry, Captain.” He smiled as he finally closed the file. “Things have been rather busy around here, as you might have noticed.”
She nodded politely, biting back her questions.
He must have noticed because he got right to the point. “During your absence there was an incident. The Stargate activated, and an alien very much like Ra came through. Four of the officers guarding the gate were killed, and one was taken prisoner.”
“Ra? I thought he was dead.”
“That’s what I thought too," Hammond said, "but his eyes glowed exactly as described in the reports. However, Colonel O’Neill claims that it is impossible that it was Ra.”
“Colonel O’Neill?”
“I recalled the Colonel right after the aliens came through. It appears he did not tell the exact truth in his report. He did not destroy the Abydos gate as he was ordered, and apparently Doctor Jackson is still very much alive on the planet.”
Sam’s mind reeled. Daniel Jackson was still alive. The gate wasn’t destroyed, which meant they could travel back to the planet. But if Ra was still alive...
She realised Hammond was still talking. “We received a message back from Doctor Jackson, and I have agreed to send a team through the Stargate to meet him, and find out whether or not the aliens that attacked us came from Abydos.”
Sam nodded, but her enthusiasm was getting the best of her. “Is this why you recalled me, Sir?”
Hammond chuckled. “Yes, Captain. I want you to be on the mission. I have assigned you to the team under Colonel O’Neill’s command. However, if there is any reason that you think that you should not be assigned to this mission, I want you to tell me now.”
“Sir, I can do this. I have been working on the Stargate for a long time. I should have gone through the first time. I will not let you down.”
The General smiled. “That’s what I thought too, Captain.” He looked at his watch. “You have fifteen minutes to dress appropriately. The briefing will be held at 08:00.”
“Yes, Sir.” Sam grinned. After a snappy salute, she left the office.
She was going through the Stargate! After reading Colonel O’Neill’s report, she wished she had been there when they went through the first time. Now, she would finally get a chance to step through the horizon of the Stargate and walk on a completely different planet. Excited didn’t come close to what she was feeling.
*****
Sam managed to take a quick shower and put on her dress blues in record time. Her nerves were acting up now that she would finally get to meet Colonel Jack O’Neill. She wished she could call Jonas and share her excitement with him; after all, this was what she had been working for - a chance to go through the Stargate.
Her mind skidded to a halt at the thought of Jonas. He didn’t even know she was back in Colorado Springs. She had looked for him while passing through security, but saw no sign of him. She realised she couldn’t let him find out she was back from the sign-in chart.
She glanced at her watch; five minutes to spare before the briefing. Who knew what would be decided in it, or if she’d have to time to contact him afterwards? As she passed an empty office, she noticed a black phone on the desk. Quickly, she slipped inside and closed the door behind her.
Her fingers hesitated for only a second before dialling their house. It seemed to take ages before finally Jonas picked up, his voice sounding groggy with sleep.
“Hanson.”
“Jonas? It’s me.” She held her breath as she waited for a reply.
It didn’t come. “Jonas? Are you still there?”
“Yeah,” came his slow response.
“Listen, I just wanted you to know that I’m back in Colorado Springs.” She glanced at her watch - three minutes left.
“Okay,” he paused, and she heard sheets rustle. “Do you want me to come get you from the airport?”
Sam closed her eyes and bit her lip. “No, I’m already at Cheyenne Mountain.”
“Oh.”
“General Hammond called me earlier this morning. They needed me for an emergency.” This was not how she had wanted to come back to him.
“I see. So the only reason you’re back is because work needed you?” It wasn’t a question, she knew that much, but maybe it would be easier if he got angry.
“No, Jonas! It’s not like that at all!”
“No? What is it like then?” He growled.
Damn, she didn’t have time for this. “Jonas, I can’t get into this right now.”
“What? Your deep space radar telemetry can’t wait for five minutes?”
“Jonas, please don’t act like this.” She knew he had a right to be angry, but she didn't want to fight about it. Especially not on the telephone.
“Act like what? You just left, Sam. I came home and you were gone.”
“You knew where I was! You could have picked up a damn phone and called me!” She was shouting now.
“So could you!”
She took it back; it wasn’t easier now that he was angry.
“I know. I was wrong.” She glanced at her watch again. Time was up. “Jonas, I’m sorry. I don’t have the time right now. I should be in a briefing. I just wanted you to know that I’m back. I have no idea what’s going to happen, or how long it will take me to finish the problem here. It could easily be a couple of days.”
“What damn sort of problem can occur in deep space radar telemetry that it might take a couple of days to fix?”
“You know I can’t tell you.” She really had to go, but she couldn’t just hang up like this.
“No, of course not. You want to know what the real problem is?”
“Jonas...” She sensed what was coming.
“The problem is that you only think about yourself. You don’t stop to think that your actions might have repercussions. None of you career women do! Your work is just so damn important, and you have to be the best at everything. Nothing else matters to you.”
“Jonas!”
“Save it, Sam. You know that I’m right. If you had paid more attention, and hadn’t been so damn set on getting your promotion, you wouldn’t have lost our child!”
She tried to swallow, but the emotions gripped at her throat, and she couldn't find a response.
“You shouldn’t have left the way you did, Sam,” Jonas added, the anger in his voice replaced by sadness.
“Jonas, I...” Sshe never finished her sentence. The monotone beep indicated he had hung up.
Sam slowly put the receiver down and stared at it. Her eyes misted over, but she fought the tears. She didn’t have time for a break down. She had a mission to carry out.
“You bastard.” She snarled at the telephone, trying to turn her hurt into anger. She could deal with anger. It made her stronger and more in control, not like the hurt and feelings of loss that had been pulling at her since she’d lost her baby.
Now determined, she opened the door and headed towards the briefing room.
She wasn’t responsible for her miscarriage, it hadn’t been her fault. The silent mantra served to give her back her self-confidence.
As she approached the open door, she could hear the conversation within.
“Where’s Captain Carter?” Hammond was asking.
“Carter?” She didn’t recognise the new voice, but somehow knew it must be Colonel O’Neill.
She stopped and listened for a second.
“I'm assigning Sam Carter to this mission,” Hammond said, and Sam couldn’t help but smile. She was finally going through the Stargate.
“I'd prefer to put together my own team, Sir.” Her smile faded at the reluctance in his voice. God, she didn’t want him to scrap her from the mission.
Hammond's reponse set her nerves at ease. “Not on this mission, sorry. Carter's our expert on the Stargate.”
“Where's he transferring from?”
She stepped into the room filled with determination. She would prove herself to Colonel Jack O’Neill, and she would make sure he’d eat his hat for ever doubting her assignment. “*She* has been stationed here for at least six months,” Sam answered in Hammond’s place.
A/N: Huge big thanks to
chiroho and splash_the_cat who did a kick ass job on kicking this fic's ass. You guys rock!I can't believe it took me 40 pages to finally get to this point. Yes, more to come. But I don't know when because of the thesis and a rampant muse. Thank you to everyone who is bearing with me on this. I hope you enjoy this part.
PART FOUR
14:56 WASHINGTON D.C.
Sam woke slowly, her neck protesting against the awkward position she was in. Groaning, she rolled onto her back, wondering why she was sleeping on the couch. Someone had closed the curtains, and the blanket that covered her had slipped onto the floor, but she didn’t bother picking it up.
Tiredly, she rubbed a hand through her hair. The memories were returning. Her dad had met her at the airport. He hadn’t pushed her to talk, simply embraced her and held her just like she had needed him to.
“I thought you were going to sleep forever,” Jacob murmured, and she turned her head to find her father sitting in the armchair, an amused look on his face.
“What time is it?” She didn’t feel like moving to look for the clock.
“15:00,” Jacob answered. “You must have been exhausted. I only went to get your bag out of the car, and when I came back you were asleep on the couch.”
Sam stretched her arms over her head and closed her eyes again. “I *am* exhausted.”
“Sam?” She heard his concern, and could imagine his frown.
“Mmmmm?”
“Are you alright?”
“No, I’m not.” She sighed and opened her eyes, turning so she saw Jacob sitting with his elbows on his knees, watching her.
“What’s wrong, honey?” His words alone nearly undid her.
She blinked away tears and shook her head, unsure of how to drop this bombshell on him.
“Is it Jonas? Did you have a fight?”
“No. We didn’t fight. Not really anyway.” Some of what Jonas had said to Janet came back to her. They hadn’t really fought, but it was beyond any doubt that he blamed her and was angry with her. Hell, she was angry at herself.
“Does he even know you’re here?”
“I left him a note saying that I’m visiting you.” She tried not to imagine Jonas coming home to an empty house.
“Sam, you know you can talk to me...”
“I know, Dad. I know. It’s just... I need more time.” She looked at him pleadingly. “Please, Dad. I can’t do this. Not right now. It’s just too much at the moment.”
Jacob frowned, but nodded in understanding. “Okay, but if you need to talk, promise you’ll come to me?”
“I promise.” She gave him a watery smile as he got up from the armchair.
“How about you go freshen up, and I’ll make you a snack?”
“A snack?” Sam raised her eyebrows, relieved at the shift to a lighter tone in their conversation.
“A sandwich? Ice cream? Cookies? Pie? You name it! Anything for my little girl.”
“Dad!” Sam protested, but smiled none-the-less. “Chocolate cake?”
Jacob laughed and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. “Cake it is. Now go take a shower. I put your stuff in the guestroom.”
Sam watched Jacob head into the kitchen. She was glad to be here, glad she didn’t have to deal with the pressure from Jonas. Even if she and her father didn’t always get along as well as she wished, he still was her father, and he would always be there for her.
“Dad?” She called after him.
“Yeah?” He turned and looked at her expectantly.
“Thanks.”
“Anytime, kiddo. Anytime.”
It took her another week before she finally told Jacob what had happened. He had walked in on her one evening, and found her in tears. As he cradled her in his arms, trying to comfort her, she sobbed out the story. She remembered how, on the day of her mother's funeral, she had snuck into her brother’s room and woken up the next morning warm and safe in the arms of both Mark and her dad. And just like then, she felt better knowing she wasn’t alone.
*****
Sam pushed the last piece of pancake around her plate. Even though she was on leave and her dad was retired, they still both woke up at the crack of dawn. She had been here for two weeks now, and while she felt better, a whole lot better than when she first arrived, she dreaded having to face Colorado Springs again.
“Sam.” Jacob placed his hand over hers, stopping the movement.
“Mmmm?” She had a feeling he knew what she was thinking about.
“Have you called Jonas yet?”
She let go of the fork, the clatter as it connected with the plate making her wince. “No.”
“Sam...” He didn’t have to finish his sentence for her to know what was coming.
“I know, Dad. It just isn’t easy.” She felt like a complete coward, but right now she’d rather call herself names than face Jonas’ disappointment.
“Of course it isn’t, but this isn’t like you. You normally don’t run away like you have.”
“I didn’t run away!” Jacob raised an eyebrow and she sighed. “Okay, fine. Yes, I ran. But Dad, you should have seen him when he found out.”
“Would I have wanted to kick his ass?”
Sam gave him a little smile and shook her head. “He’s disappointed...”
“I don’t care. He let you believe this was your fault and that’s... that’s...” Jacob slammed his hand down on the tabletop in frustration. “He should have been there for you.”
“Perhaps, but...”
“Jesus, Sam. Stop making excuses for him.”
“I’m not. I didn’t exactly wait for him to talk about it. I was the one who ran.”
Jacob sighed and reached over the table to squeeze her hand. “You shouldn't have run, no. But after the way he treated you, I understand.”
“You never approved of him.”
“Sammy, that’s hardly the point here. Why did you marry him?”
“Because I love him.” Sam stared at his hand, still wrapped tightly around hers.
“Do you still love him?”
She nodded, wondering if Jonas would still feel the same after what she put him through.
“Then I think it’s time for you to try and sort things out before it is too late,” Jacob told her softly.
“But what if it is already? Too late, I mean.” She hated feeling this insecure. Her whole life had been about proving that she wasn’t weak, that she was as strong as anybody else, even stronger.
“Then at least you’ll have tried, and you won’t have to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been.” Sam knew he was right. She would blame herself even more if she didn’t face this. Perhaps then she would be able to face herself again.
“You’re right,” she whispered, and Jacob chuckled.
“I’m always right.”
“I wouldn’t go that far, Dad.”
Jacob grinned, but his teasing reply was interrupted by the telephone.
Sam watched him pick up the telephone and grin broadly.
“George! You old dog. How have you been doing?”
Sam started to clear the table. She didn’t pay attention to the pleasantries her father exchanged with the caller until she heard her name.
“Sam? Yeah, she’s here. You want to talk to her?” Jacob sounded confused.
Sam watched as her father listened intently to whatever George had to say.
“No, I didn’t know that. Hang on while I get her.” Jacob motioned for her to approach. Placing his hand over the telephone, he said, “You didn’t tell me George Hammond was your commanding officer.”
“I didn’t know that you knew each other.” Sam reached for the telephone but Jacob pulled it away from her grasp.
“Sam! You know George. We served in ‘Nam together.”
“Oh!” She remembered her parents mentioning the name when she was younger, but never made any connection between the young Major who had served with her father, and the General she now served under.
Jacob shook his head in amused annoyance and handed her the telephone.
“Sir?” She had called him that morning, right after her calling her dad, and had requested some time off. Hammond had been very understanding and told her to take her time. Truth was, they both knew the Stargate program was going nowhere. It was just a matter of time before she would be called back to the Pentagon so she could spend her time on more important issues.
“Captain Carter, I’m sorry to interrupt your leave like this but something has come up and you are needed at Cheyenne Mountain immediately.” She noticed the urgency in his voice.
“I understand, Sir.” She knew it had to do with the Stargate.
“Captain, I know this is a difficult time for you, and if you don’t feel you are up for the task then I want you to tell me. This is very important, and as much as I want you to be a part of this mission, I need to know that you are ready to do this.”
She had no clue what was going on, but judging by the seriousness with which the General spoke, it had to be big. She’d be damned if she’d miss out on anything that involved the Stargate. It had been too much a part of her life for the past few years. “No, Sir. I’m up to it. When do you need me in Colorado?”
“Now, Captain. Transport has been arranged and will leave within the hour. I expect you to be on it.”
“Yes, Sir. I’ll be there.”
Hammond gave her the flight specifics. “I’ll make sure someone picks you up from the airport.” The next thing she knew he had hung up.
A slight buzz settled in her stomach as she put the telephone down and turned to find her father watching her.
“I've got to go. General Hammond wants me back in Colorado right away.”
“I figured that.” Jacob replied. “What was it about?”
She shook her head. “Deep space radar telemetry.”
“Right.” Jacob chuckled. “Need some help getting your things together?”
“No, I’ll just be a minute.”
It took her less than ten minutes to get everything in order, and then Jacob drove her to the airport, parking in the lane reserved for cabs.
“Sam, are you sure you don’t want me to see you off?” Jacob asked, his hand on the key, as if he'd turn it off the moment she said no.
“I’ll be fine, dad. Despite what you believe, I am old enough to get on a plane on my own.”
Jacob sighed. “I know that.”
Sam smiled and leaned over, giving him a kiss on his cheek. “I’ll be alright. Thank you for everything. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
“Anytime, honey. Anytime.” Jacob smiled, hugging her briefly. “Now is there anything you want me to do? I can call Jonas and tell him you’re heading back if you want.”
Sam shook her head. “No, I think I should talk to him myself. It’s probably for the best.”
“Okay then. Take care, okay? And if there’s anything you need...”
Sam grinned. “I’ll give you a call. I promise.”
Jacob sighed as a cab drove up behind them, horn blaring. “You better go or you’ll miss your flight.”
Sam snickered. “Or that cabdriver will call the cops and you’ll get a fine.” She kissed him once more. “Bye, Dad.”
“Bye, honey,” he murmured as she got out of the car and collected her bag out of the back seat.
She stood just outside the doors and waved as he drove away.
Taking a deep breath, Sam headed inside. It was time for her to try and pick up the pieces of her life in Colorado.
*****
Sam managed to just avoid colliding with an over-excited airman.
“Sorry, ma’am,” he muttered as he hurried off.
She shook her head and proceeded towards General Hammond’s office. The corridors were humming with life, so unlike how it had been before she'd left. It looked like Hammond had recalled most personnel, but she doubted the reasons why were good. Everyone was tense, as if a storm was brewing behind the grey walls.
She straightened her shirt, and wondered again if she should have changed into her dress uniform before coming down, but she had been too curious to waste her time in the locker room.
She rapped softly on the General's door, and then entered the room at Hammond’s command.
“Sir.” Sam came to attention.
“Sit down, Captain.” Hammond didn't even look up from the papers in front of him.
Sam did as ordered and waited patiently for the General to finish whatever he was doing.
“I’m sorry, Captain.” He smiled as he finally closed the file. “Things have been rather busy around here, as you might have noticed.”
She nodded politely, biting back her questions.
He must have noticed because he got right to the point. “During your absence there was an incident. The Stargate activated, and an alien very much like Ra came through. Four of the officers guarding the gate were killed, and one was taken prisoner.”
“Ra? I thought he was dead.”
“That’s what I thought too," Hammond said, "but his eyes glowed exactly as described in the reports. However, Colonel O’Neill claims that it is impossible that it was Ra.”
“Colonel O’Neill?”
“I recalled the Colonel right after the aliens came through. It appears he did not tell the exact truth in his report. He did not destroy the Abydos gate as he was ordered, and apparently Doctor Jackson is still very much alive on the planet.”
Sam’s mind reeled. Daniel Jackson was still alive. The gate wasn’t destroyed, which meant they could travel back to the planet. But if Ra was still alive...
She realised Hammond was still talking. “We received a message back from Doctor Jackson, and I have agreed to send a team through the Stargate to meet him, and find out whether or not the aliens that attacked us came from Abydos.”
Sam nodded, but her enthusiasm was getting the best of her. “Is this why you recalled me, Sir?”
Hammond chuckled. “Yes, Captain. I want you to be on the mission. I have assigned you to the team under Colonel O’Neill’s command. However, if there is any reason that you think that you should not be assigned to this mission, I want you to tell me now.”
“Sir, I can do this. I have been working on the Stargate for a long time. I should have gone through the first time. I will not let you down.”
The General smiled. “That’s what I thought too, Captain.” He looked at his watch. “You have fifteen minutes to dress appropriately. The briefing will be held at 08:00.”
“Yes, Sir.” Sam grinned. After a snappy salute, she left the office.
She was going through the Stargate! After reading Colonel O’Neill’s report, she wished she had been there when they went through the first time. Now, she would finally get a chance to step through the horizon of the Stargate and walk on a completely different planet. Excited didn’t come close to what she was feeling.
*****
Sam managed to take a quick shower and put on her dress blues in record time. Her nerves were acting up now that she would finally get to meet Colonel Jack O’Neill. She wished she could call Jonas and share her excitement with him; after all, this was what she had been working for - a chance to go through the Stargate.
Her mind skidded to a halt at the thought of Jonas. He didn’t even know she was back in Colorado Springs. She had looked for him while passing through security, but saw no sign of him. She realised she couldn’t let him find out she was back from the sign-in chart.
She glanced at her watch; five minutes to spare before the briefing. Who knew what would be decided in it, or if she’d have to time to contact him afterwards? As she passed an empty office, she noticed a black phone on the desk. Quickly, she slipped inside and closed the door behind her.
Her fingers hesitated for only a second before dialling their house. It seemed to take ages before finally Jonas picked up, his voice sounding groggy with sleep.
“Hanson.”
“Jonas? It’s me.” She held her breath as she waited for a reply.
It didn’t come. “Jonas? Are you still there?”
“Yeah,” came his slow response.
“Listen, I just wanted you to know that I’m back in Colorado Springs.” She glanced at her watch - three minutes left.
“Okay,” he paused, and she heard sheets rustle. “Do you want me to come get you from the airport?”
Sam closed her eyes and bit her lip. “No, I’m already at Cheyenne Mountain.”
“Oh.”
“General Hammond called me earlier this morning. They needed me for an emergency.” This was not how she had wanted to come back to him.
“I see. So the only reason you’re back is because work needed you?” It wasn’t a question, she knew that much, but maybe it would be easier if he got angry.
“No, Jonas! It’s not like that at all!”
“No? What is it like then?” He growled.
Damn, she didn’t have time for this. “Jonas, I can’t get into this right now.”
“What? Your deep space radar telemetry can’t wait for five minutes?”
“Jonas, please don’t act like this.” She knew he had a right to be angry, but she didn't want to fight about it. Especially not on the telephone.
“Act like what? You just left, Sam. I came home and you were gone.”
“You knew where I was! You could have picked up a damn phone and called me!” She was shouting now.
“So could you!”
She took it back; it wasn’t easier now that he was angry.
“I know. I was wrong.” She glanced at her watch again. Time was up. “Jonas, I’m sorry. I don’t have the time right now. I should be in a briefing. I just wanted you to know that I’m back. I have no idea what’s going to happen, or how long it will take me to finish the problem here. It could easily be a couple of days.”
“What damn sort of problem can occur in deep space radar telemetry that it might take a couple of days to fix?”
“You know I can’t tell you.” She really had to go, but she couldn’t just hang up like this.
“No, of course not. You want to know what the real problem is?”
“Jonas...” She sensed what was coming.
“The problem is that you only think about yourself. You don’t stop to think that your actions might have repercussions. None of you career women do! Your work is just so damn important, and you have to be the best at everything. Nothing else matters to you.”
“Jonas!”
“Save it, Sam. You know that I’m right. If you had paid more attention, and hadn’t been so damn set on getting your promotion, you wouldn’t have lost our child!”
She tried to swallow, but the emotions gripped at her throat, and she couldn't find a response.
“You shouldn’t have left the way you did, Sam,” Jonas added, the anger in his voice replaced by sadness.
“Jonas, I...” Sshe never finished her sentence. The monotone beep indicated he had hung up.
Sam slowly put the receiver down and stared at it. Her eyes misted over, but she fought the tears. She didn’t have time for a break down. She had a mission to carry out.
“You bastard.” She snarled at the telephone, trying to turn her hurt into anger. She could deal with anger. It made her stronger and more in control, not like the hurt and feelings of loss that had been pulling at her since she’d lost her baby.
Now determined, she opened the door and headed towards the briefing room.
She wasn’t responsible for her miscarriage, it hadn’t been her fault. The silent mantra served to give her back her self-confidence.
As she approached the open door, she could hear the conversation within.
“Where’s Captain Carter?” Hammond was asking.
“Carter?” She didn’t recognise the new voice, but somehow knew it must be Colonel O’Neill.
She stopped and listened for a second.
“I'm assigning Sam Carter to this mission,” Hammond said, and Sam couldn’t help but smile. She was finally going through the Stargate.
“I'd prefer to put together my own team, Sir.” Her smile faded at the reluctance in his voice. God, she didn’t want him to scrap her from the mission.
Hammond's reponse set her nerves at ease. “Not on this mission, sorry. Carter's our expert on the Stargate.”
“Where's he transferring from?”
She stepped into the room filled with determination. She would prove herself to Colonel Jack O’Neill, and she would make sure he’d eat his hat for ever doubting her assignment. “*She* has been stationed here for at least six months,” Sam answered in Hammond’s place.
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Date: 2004-04-06 11:27 am (UTC)I loved the way you turned the story around and tied everything together at the end, but I'm worried Hanson is going to come after her. :(
Thank you, Jara and WELL DONE.
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Date: 2004-04-06 11:37 am (UTC)I'll give you one teaser (not sure what part it will be in though); locker room goodness ;o)
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Date: 2004-04-06 12:59 pm (UTC)So would that be Jack/Daniel, given that this is AU and that AU may have different marriage laws? Or perhaps Sam/Janet for the same reason? Or maybe Sam/Daniel, 'cause she decides she needs a different type than the dark and silent soldier boy type? Or mabye even Sam/Teal'c, someone that could stand up to Jonas Hansen?
*g*
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Date: 2004-04-06 01:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-06 01:04 pm (UTC)*sigh*
You take all the fun out of things. ;)
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Date: 2004-04-06 01:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-06 01:06 pm (UTC):P heheheh
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Date: 2004-04-06 01:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-06 02:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-06 05:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-06 06:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-06 06:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-06 06:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-06 06:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-06 07:00 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading btw ;o)
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Date: 2004-04-06 07:10 pm (UTC)innocent?! no shit! really....*starts talking with Jara's muse*
Thanks for reading btw ;o)
you're welcome is my pleasure...I get my horizons bigger...I don't really believe in Sam/Jonas H. ship but well...is interesting and still hoping for it to get s/j ;-p
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Date: 2004-04-06 07:13 pm (UTC)I am loving this piece of work oh so much, so it was great to have another chapter.
The build-up you have used in getting to the briefing room helps to make a little sense of Sams mood in that scene.
Rampant muses are a pain in the ass ;)
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Date: 2004-04-06 07:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-06 07:16 pm (UTC)Yaaay! I'm glad it worked. I had a hard time trying to get into Sam like she was in that scene so I hoped this would help explain it =o)
Thank you so much for reading! I'm glad you're enjoying it =o)
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Date: 2004-04-06 07:26 pm (UTC)you sure? because well moose doesn't want that and may hurt muse.... :-p *keeps talking with Jara's muse*
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Date: 2004-04-06 07:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-06 07:31 pm (UTC)I wouldn't...moose would ;) and shttt...muse and me are talking....she's comming around ;)
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Date: 2004-04-06 07:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-06 07:38 pm (UTC)(not going to say it's nearerer the less)... now onto aim to talk with the writer if she's not busy and feels like talking *eg*no subject
Date: 2004-04-06 07:49 pm (UTC)