woodface: (smuthussy_splash_the_cat)
[personal profile] woodface
Disclaimer: Not mine etc
Category: SJR
Rating: R (It's not explicit enough to be smut)
Season/Spoilers: Any/None
Summary: You never believed in perfection but she comes close to it.

A/N: Huge big thank you to [livejournal.com profile] splash_the_cat for her beta. *knuffels*



It’s like a prayer, moving your hands over her pale skin. As if you’re worshipping her. You don’t understand why she lets you. You feel inadequate; your hands are too rough to touch her like this. But she likes them. You know because she told you so.

You feel like a sinner, tasting her skin when it's salty from sweat. You like the taste, like to move your tongue along her throat and dip it in the hollow at the base. You swear she tastes differently there, you don’t know why. You don’t question it; just embrace the truth for what it is. Her low moan vibrates through her body and you wish you could crawl under her skin. It’s wrong, so terribly wrong, but you’ll happily let Satan in his ice lake chew on you for eternity if this is sin. You don’t tell her that; it’s not that kind of relationship, where she’s allowed to know you read Dante. She already knows you’re not as dense as you let everyone believe, knows too much about you.

She's started filing your nails, a gesture that feels too intimate. You protested at first because it isn’t a manly thing. Until she slid between your legs and pulled your hands into her lap and the protest died on your lips. You still threaten that you’ll tell Daniel and Teal’c the exact location of that mole of hers if she tells them, but she knows you wouldn’t dream of letting any other man know anything about her body. It’s your religion. So you shut up and let her trim your nails. It’s for her anyway; she likes it when you touch her clit with them just before she comes. It never fails. Afterwards, she’ll push your hands away, murmuring about it being too much.

You turn her over and bite down on the back of her neck. She hisses; perhaps you’ve bitten too hard. But then she arches her back and presses against your groin, making you moan along with her. The last time your chest was touching her back, you were both naked from the waist down -a stolen moment in between missions where you didn’t even have time to undress completely. You remember how her muscles held you, just like they do now. How she moaned but batted your hand away when you wanted to touch her. You don’t understand why she didn’t want you to help her. She said something about just wanting to feel you inside her but you didn't really understand. You’re the one worshipping her, after all.

Your hands drift underneath her, exploring her skin. You never believed in perfection but she comes close to it. She’s shy of her body. You knew that the moment you first walked in on her in the bathroom. She tried to cover herself, tried to hide the many scars that mark her. She’s not vain, anything but, but she’s conscious of her body. You touched her then - felt like an altar boy being allowed to carry the goblet filled with consecrated hosts. Your fingers explored every mark and scar, tracing them, wondering how they only served to make her more beautiful, more perfect. When you looked up at her, her eyes shone with something you’d never seen in them before.

She moves against you, pressing up and making you lose yourself in her. You never thought anyone would fill your senses like she does. But even now her scent burrows its way into your mind. You’re besotted; she's more than just a religion, she's more than you could ever have hoped for. She seems out of place, like she doesn’t belong in your life. Like the Song of Songs in the Bible; odd, too beautiful to really belong there, but it wouldn’t be the same without it. You don’t tell her that either though. Because you’re not really a religious person; you haven’t been for years.

But you find yourself worshipping again.

Date: 2004-03-02 11:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elly427.livejournal.com
You don’t tell her that; it’s not that kind of relationship, where she’s allowed to know you read Dante

I love, love, love the image of Jack reading Dante. It gives me shivers and I don't know why.

Like the Song of Songs in the Bible; odd, too beautiful to really belong there, but it wouldn’t be the same without it

That's . . . *sighs* just a really nice comparision in context. Out of context too, but it works especially well in context.

This was lovely. Not smut, you're right. Something more. Wow. :)

Date: 2004-03-02 12:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] audrich.livejournal.com
Whoa!
Not so much reading a story, but living the experience.
Jack reading Dante, the whole scene in the bathroom, the Song of Songs reference, the way you write the touching -

..intimate..personal..secret..close..private..

When you looked up at her, her eyes shone with something you’d never seen in them before.
{{{shivers}}}
WELL DONE!

Date: 2004-03-02 12:33 pm (UTC)
ext_46767: (Default)
From: [identity profile] jo-siris.livejournal.com
Wow! I am lost for words.

Quite freaky as I was only discussing Dante yesterday.

Excellent piece of writing.

Date: 2004-03-02 01:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lisayaeger.livejournal.com
And I turned in a fic about Dante the other day, too. It's like we're all on the same wavelength, isn't it?

Loved this piece more the 2nd time, Jara :-)

Date: 2004-03-02 01:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] splash-the-cat.livejournal.com
*SMOOOOOCH* Still lovely, hon. Very very good.

Date: 2004-03-02 03:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emry.livejournal.com
Very well done!

Hmmm....now does Sam worship Jack in such a manner?

Date: 2004-03-02 04:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] besyd.livejournal.com
You read lots of fic over the course of being fannish, and along the road, several stand out as "different" ... breaking new ground ... memorable. This is definitely one of those. A fic one experiences rather than reads. I, too, am at a loss for words to express my appreciation.

This is so incredibly intimate, and so in character. That "unworthy" quality that Jack harbors. The details are exquisite and so right.

She said something about just wanting to feel you inside her but you didn't really understand.

[nods] Yeah.

She tried to cover herself, tried to hide the many scars that mark her.

Thank you for the reality ... of the scars, of Sam's self-consciousness, of Jack's acceptance.

Just thank you for such a wonderful piece.

Date: 2004-03-02 04:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jemster.livejournal.com
That was wonderful! I love the imagery you portrayed in this piece. Very nice. :-)

Date: 2004-03-02 05:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] besyd.livejournal.com
You're a writer's dream

Geep! Now you made me blush! But honestly, I enjoy commenting almost as much fun as writing (beta'ing, like collaborating, is such a kick!). Too bad I don't always have enough time.

I find that so endearing.

Me, too. There's so much bottled up in that man. I've always said Sam will save his soul (already has, in many ways).

Somehow writing this made me fall in love with Jack being in love with Sam.

Makes perfect sense, and I agree whole-heartedly.

Date: 2004-03-02 06:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lisayaeger.livejournal.com
*hugs Julie*

*smoochies Jara*

Date: 2004-03-02 06:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] isis6.livejournal.com
Like everyone else has said . . .

Darn, you've made a writer inarticulate!

Date: 2004-03-02 07:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deltachild.livejournal.com
Jara that was just mind-blowing.

I've never read anything quite like it before. It has an almost spiritual quality of its own. I love the way you describe how he touches her, and the way he senses everything. Like you've crawled inside of his head.

You manage to write smut, that goes beyond smut so far that it isn't smut but something on a different level!

Date: 2004-03-02 07:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deltachild.livejournal.com
*smooches you back*

Never did anyone any hard to have their ego stoked a little ;) You fully deserve all of the feedback you get for this though...so there :p

Ye syou have reached a level beyond smut...except it doesn't have a name yet. Hm.

Date: 2004-03-02 07:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deltachild.livejournal.com
*thinks*

"Tmut"...transcended smut? Although it does sound like a goa'uld word for smut...hmmmm.

"SwF" smut with feeling

"Smut+1"

Starting to think that I'm not too good at naming things!

Date: 2004-03-03 05:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] callista1159.livejournal.com
Honey,

Like everyone else, this made me shiver. I think it's because I'd give anything to be worshipped like that. Because I've felt that.

Incredibly evocative, really very beautiful. I struggle a little because I wish I could see more than he can - she's incomprehensible to both him and the reader (which I guess is deliberate?) but I'd love to see her side, too...

*nudges*

Wonderful, lovey, really :)

Date: 2004-03-03 07:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poohmusings.livejournal.com
Mmmmmmmm. Extremely well done, hon. :) Love the details and the in-the-momentness of the fic. An expecially love this:

You don’t tell her that; it’s not that kind of relationship, where she’s allowed to know you read Dante. She already knows you’re not as dense as you let everyone believe, knows too much about you.

I adore that allusion to Jack's awareness of how he's letting Sam see/know more about him than he's allowed anyone else in the past.

Beautiful, beautiful.

Date: 2004-03-03 10:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] splash-the-cat.livejournal.com
*smoooch* It was a great story to work with. :)

Date: 2004-03-15 10:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angst-angel.livejournal.com
Ooooo, that's very nice. Definitely goes beyond just "smut." Sorry, I'm not sure how to put it. *g* But lovely, bunny! :)

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