Tread softly

I hate getting angry. Not just angry but furious. I rarely get there, I think I can count the amount of times on one hand (maybe on two). It takes a whole lot for me to get pissed off, usually I tend to go quiet and block things out until I get a good night's sleep and rant off the issue in my head. By the time I have to face the person I'm mad at, I have calmed down and I'm capable of holding a relaxed conversation and working things out. Problem is that most of the time I'm too rational to get my anger out by then so it... builds. And builds.

But that's just angry, this is beyond that. It's a physical emotion that just overwhelms me and feels like when I will blow it will be ugly and bad and I'll end up regretting it for a very long time. So I swallowed it and went to bed and lay awake for a long time trying to calm myself down. Which no, didn't work as I slept horribly and woke up too early and now I'm frakking tired and I'm still pissed off. To a lesser degree, but it's still nothing pretty and nothing that I like.

So if I'm snappy at anyone, I'm sorry. It's not personal, it's not aimed at you and maybe half of it by now is that I'm just tired and want to sleep. Or get a job or a life of some sort. Or not and just... Yeah.